Forever Friends

Friendship, true friendship is rare in this world. I have had many, many friends, some that I had imagined would last me a life time. Out of all the friends I have had in my life, only a select few have remained.      

My two oldest friends I met back in the dark ages of high school when I was a mere twelve years old are my most cherished antiques, (I mean that with love girls). We have gone through much together and apart, but have stuck like glue. When I think back to our early years, I smile at the memories. We knew nothing back in the day, but we sure thought we did.

It took me several years to realize that these two were destined to be life-long friends. My life had been full of losses so this came as a wonderful surprise to me. We have each had our share of grief, of miss-understandings, of good times and of bad. We shared date nights together, marriage, break-ups, more marriages and babies. We weathered the divorces, the deaths, the births and life’s challenges beside each other, even when we lived in three different states.

Through our friendship, we often lose touch, rarely call, hardly write, but always our hearts meet. We have vowed now in our ancient years to get together yearly, however, life has a habit of getting in our way. Yet we still manage, between the distances, the silences and infrequent visits to meet here and there. When we do, the miles, years and silences are erased. We pick right up where we left off, a little older, a little grayer, (those of us who dye our hair will never reveal how gray we have become) and much wiser. At least we like to think we have grown wiser.

I have marveled over these two ladies and how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are sisters of my heart and treasured. We joke often we will retire together on a beach front nursing home with reserved rocking chairs. I know we will cause a stir in that old folks’ home.

We are each so different, yet a like. I always saw us as the loud one, the quiet one and the one who is a little of both. I am sure you gals can figure out who is who. *wink*. We are passionate about our lives, our friendships and our belief in God. We have skated through life and known if one of us called, we would be there to catch the other when they fell.

Back in the day of long distance phone calls, one of these ladies spent hours and hours checking on me when I was going through a rather horrible time in my life. Her phone bill must have been more than my house payment. She showed up again years later after I lost a loved one and had bought a house. She came with paint brush in hand and warm arms for me to cry on. She has showed up, time and time again. I will never forget that my friend.

Nor will I forget those days of young motherhood when my other dear friend and I would daily chat about the challenges of raising our kids, the long sleepless nights, burnt dinners and endless trips to doctors. We shared our nursing and birth stories like soldiers off in battle and gave advice freely if not always solicited. We visited together with toddlers in tow any chance we could get and had children close in ages. I will always remember those days fondly and miss them dearly.

I have two other dear friends I have collected in recent years who have warmed my heart, inspired me to grow in my beliefs and my writings. They are my treasures of every day talks and walks through life.

Friendship is not for the weak of heart; you have to show up to be a true friend. You have to have a listening ear, a quiet mouth, a soft touch and years of knowledge on subjects you have never experienced. Friends pray for each other. True friends are also there to call you on the carpet when need be and one of us might even throw a hamburger at your car window and walk the steam for a few miles later laughing. (Inside joke for one of you) We have survived these little tiffs together and separate which made our bond stronger.

I am so very blessed, so very thankful for the ladies in my life and marvel they can even put up with my moods. Thank you ladies, for the time of my life and I pray for many, many more years together. I love you more.

Teresa Gale

Fall Melody

Fall Melody

A canopy of leaves

unfurl like smoke,

as the wind tosses.

Limbs reach out,

loving hands

brushing cheeks.

Looking skyward

towards the aging limbs;

twisted and gnarled

akin to arthritic fingers

beckoning to follow.

In the winter

of it’s age,

whispers can be

heard in the rustle

of brittle leaves.

“Be still”

the whisper calls.

Heart listens,

then obeys.

Teresa Gale

C 2004

Trust

It was a dark and stormy night. No wrong, it was a sun filled day of flowers and birds. Nope not right either. The heavy snow twirled and danced caught glimmering in the headlights, mesmerizing me in to a hypnotic daze....nope, that won't do either.

Where does one begin to write a novel? Please, someone tell me the secret. I am not a planner by any means of the word. I hate editing, despise it truthfully. I am a writer of the heart. My emotions pour out of me, bleeding on the pages. Characters are often real people in my life, those that have touched me one way or another. 

Writing is tough. Whoever thinks you just sit down and write is either a genius or has never attempted to give birth to a story. However, I have written. I have written poetry, stories, long letters, speeches for weddings, retirements, holidays and a couple of unedited novels. They sit in drawers, file folders on my office floor, and some of my writing has been published via the Internet. 

Today, I rustled through my dusty and unused office to find the one story that has been begging me to read and edit. My muse has been encouraging me to write again. Thanks dear friend Tina. So, my mission was to unearth it from under the clutter where I left it back in 2011. My first novel that I actually found an ending to.

It is sitting next to me at this very moment, my palms have grown sweaty and my heart has picked up speed. Fear knots my stomach as I turn over in my mind if I should just bury it in my grave pile of other writings and run, do not walk away from it.

I have recently been taking a creative art journaling course, playing with paint, (truthfully something I have no talent) and words. See above photo. It is unclogging my long hidden away God given gift to create again. I am rusty, weak in the knees and my own worst critic. Yet this journey in art has allowed the little girl I was never allowed to be, come out and play. 

My novel needs to be read, edited and seared once again in my heart. It is my long journey towards forgiveness and understanding someone very important in my life. It is due to the fact this was written from my heart and guided by God, that makes me want to finish it. However, in doing so, it will return me to another long and painful journey of the past.

My fear is....hard to word...facing the scary parts of my life and accepting who I am because of it. It's personal, it's painful yet is full of love. 

Earl Nightengale once stated; " Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

The course I am taking is teaching me to let go of fear and flow. I am learning to brave my fears of not being good enough to being satisfied with challenging myself to try. My novel is part of me, my baby, my growth, my journey towards forgiveness and allowing myself to love.

The story is waiting for me. I will take the steps to complete my journey and be satisfied. Is there something you fear? Are you putting off becoming the person God has designed you to be? Are there others out there like me ready to take a step beyond your comfort zone? I would invite you to step with me and reach your dreams.

Teresa Gale

Good Morning! 

 

It's Friday! I woke up with my normal aches and pains, stumbled out of bed and grabbed my dark rich coffee, liquid energy as I call it. Ahh! 

Mornings are good to reflect, prepare and by prepare I mean pray, read and catch up on family news. 

My oldest daughter traveled out west this past week to see her sister. I have been keeping track of their visit together on Facebook. I love the family photos, the smiles, the times they are sharing together making more memories. Today Jennifer, my oldest and my oldest grandson Jordan will return back home. Parting is never easy. I know each time I am with any of my children no matter how short or how long the visit, it tears my heart to leave. This is no different when your children live so far away. You wish to hold them tight, tighter, tighter even and never let them go.

"Sigh..." I got all teary eyed as I viewed the photos from last nights hugs and kisses between my grandchildren, my daughters and my son in law. I know today as she boards the plane, she will leave part of her heart with Suzanne. I know this, because I have done the same. I posted for them to cherish the times together for this is the purest of gifts.

A mother, always wants her children close. However, we also wish them wings to fly. I know I have lived far from my parents, my family for most of my life. I did what I had to do to raise my family, but...I have missed so many things, so much time together. So now, I try to make the most of it. We all need to make the most of it. 

The bible is full of stories where children wander off to the great unknowns building lives. It is the circle of life. It is not God's plan to hold our children back from His plans, whatever they may be. As a Christian mom, I have faith that the decisions they make will all be for His greater plan. I pray that in the mornings, as I wake in the middle of the night when one or all of them cross my mind. I lie awake wondering about each of the six children we are blessed with and all the little grandchildren as well.

As much as my heart aches, as much as I dream of owning a huge property where all my loved ones can dwell together, I have to be at peace knowing we carry each other in our hearts.

God's gift to me this morning as I hobbled out the front door, was to bless me with the beautiful flower above. His promise to me that he cares for each little one and has them in his hands. As I passed by this happy Daisy, my heart soared as I knew each of my children bloom where they are planted by His loving hand. I smile when I see my favorite flower gracing my morning. Thank you God for promises.

Be safe my loves and come home soon.

Love you more,

Teresa Gale

Momma T

Writing

I am writing. Yes, me, writing. It's been a long time since I have unclogged my words and let them flow. I have always been a writer of emotion, I write what I feel. So, I started the old fashioned way, got out a notebook, my favorite pen and began.

Writing with ink and paper prevents the critical me to keep fine tuning and blocking the flow. When I type, I stare endlessly at the stark white page, freeze, delete, reword, correct and finally get two sentences. Whew! Not worth it.

So, I decided after some discussion with a fellow writer friend, to begin from scratch, no editing, just write. It's working, to my amazement. Not that I have gotten far, but that does not matter. I am pouring words out on a page and seeing an idea form, editing will come later.

I am not sure what direction I am headed, I have decided against a map, characters and no names to protect the innocent writer. I am creating. I am hungry for words, I am fighting my way out of the abyss of wordless existence and forging ahead. 

Today I read a quote by Woody Allen who once said. "80 percent of life is showing up". I like that, so I am showing up, what do I have to lose?

Teresa Gale

The Long Road to Joy

Joy has always seemed most elusive in my life, mainly because I am my own worst enemy, constantly dwelling on being responsible, serious, accountable in life. Being a Martha in life, when I should be a Mary sitting quiet at the feet of my Lord.

I feel a new season in my life approaching this old woman who wishes to find the girl inside screaming to be let out. I wish to play more, create more, write more and just live more. I do believe God wants us to be happy, to be full of joy. He did not create me to be so joyless.

My destiny is to create, to use my God given gifts to write, to reach beyond myself and to enjoy this life. My sometimes too intense emotions make me a prisoner in myself allowing fear to rule my soul. There has always been a deep need that requires my letting go of the fear.

I feel it today as I sit in my dads chair back home. His passing left a void in me that is irreplaceable. I tossed and turned last night in the room that was his, dreams haunting me. I dream of him often, now part of the background in those places, close by but just out of reach. He watches me, quietly And
I feel him telling me to "Move! Snap out of it!"

I have a jumble of words stuck in my head wanting to be releaed, yet I falter, stutter and stumble over them. How often do I allow fear to stifle my joy?  I am never to old to be childlike in life, to find that inner joy and peace I so crave. I am on the road to joy starting now, it may be rough ahead, but I have faith.  

I have signed up for a journaling course online to tap into my writing again. I step slowly through the words, sprinkling pages with short ideas and thoughts. It is a start. I am sure my dad would nod in agreement, "Start where you are, one foot in front of the other and don't stop moving. "

Teresa Gale

Time to Bloom

It's that time of year, to forge ahead and bloom. I marvel at the nature around me, what was dead now reborn. The leaves now wave in the breeze, petals unfurl and pop with color. I love this season of growth in nature and in self.

We have had much rain this month and humidity high enough to frizz my hair. My body aches with arthritis and fibromyalgia, yet I still praise God every morning for a new day. My heart expands in love and acceptance at this new season of my life, I am going to embrace it.

The key words are "going to" for I have not been a happy camper about the pains of aging. I groan, complain and whine a lot. The truth in the matter, I cannot bloom if I do not open myself to this stage of my life. I wish to accept, to grow in grace.

There is not much gracefulness in my hobbling around on hips that need a good can of oil. Tin man! Where are you? However, I laugh, make jokes and smile. My favorite refrain is "I'm old you know? " in Old Testament time, biblically speaking, I am a babe.

God worked with old people in those days. Most of the people I read about were having children at my age. At ninety years young, they were ripening with age, unfurling their petals and blooming. It takes us awhile even today to mature in ways that are fruitful. I want to be fruitful, maybe even a little fruity at this stage.

So Lord, rain on me, bring it on! I am ready to ripen and to live. Anyone else with me?

Teresa Gale

Hello It's Me

It's been a long time since I have posted here. I have missed the stirring of words and speaking my heart. I am testing the waters again, breaking free from my self made prison of silence. Once again I want to not just peek through the window, but open wide the door and enter once again the land of writing. 

Teresa Gale

See you soon.