Just A Single Moment

Forever My Friend, Forever Friends

Forever My Friend, Forever


I am thinking of my best friends from High School today, having just spent a few days with one as she journeyed up to my part of town for business. It was good to see her again, it had been two years since we were last together, but it was if time had stood still.

Easy friendships are hard to come by and I count my blessings that I have been so blessed to have two friends so long. We met back when I was a mere twelve years old and through the years our friendship was sealed.

The dictionary online defined friendship as: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. The Synonyms for friend are chum, comrade, crony and confidant.



I can honestly say I have affection for my friends and they are my comrades in life along with being someone I can share and confide in. We have weathered many storms in each of our lives and been “life savers” for one another, each with our own unique flavor.



This past week, as Jackie and I got together for the first time in ages, we tried to fit in everything we could think of as far as talking. Our throats dry from the constant yapping, the late nights fill ins and the laughter caused us to almost lose our voices. We tried to take turns, but often one of us was yakking so much, trying to share the bits and pieces of our lives that the other needed only to listen. I stayed quiet much of the time, trying to soak it all in. I memorized the way she talked, laughed and looked for I know only too well that life is short, life is busy and often we may go months without a word from each other.



I felt so sad when she left and collapsed on my sofa enveloped in a depression. It is like this each time we get together. I told her I so longed for us to live closer than the 5 ½ hours journey, but God has not seen fit for this to happen.



I am a writer, who longs to write long letters, send emails, and post Face book photos, while Jackie and Sue are less into that. I need that connection that only technology or the lonely pen can try and substitute for plain old togetherness. Life is just too busy. Strange when you consider all the technology we have at hand, but having it also makes our lives much too busy.



I do know, without any doubts, we are lifelong friends; we have each other’s backs and that no matter the miles, the length of not communicating, that we each have the deepest love and respect for each other.



I tried to express this to my thirteen year old granddaughter the other day, explaining that good friends take time; they have to settle, grown up, age together, shift into a friendship that time cannot destroy. I also note that our friendship is a rare find and one I treasure. True friends care only for the best in each other, cheer each other on, comfort, confide, laugh, cry and hold each other close in hearts. We three friends, Jackie, Sue and I have found this great treasure of just enjoying each other’s company.



After my recent diagnosis of a blood clot, I know in an instant, all that can be lost. Not the friendship, for that will go on forever and ever. However, at a moment’s notice one of us could disappear. Have I told them enough how much I respect them each, how much I miss them and love them? Have I voiced the fact that no matter what, I am there with them in my heart? Do they know that nothing can destroy this deep friendship? If I haven’t, it is high time I do this.



This night, I shall write one of my long love letters for each of them. Tonight, I will sit and think of all the wonderful ladies who have walked into my life, God sent and cherish them. God has blessed me, not with just my two best friends, but with many, many others who have danced this dance of life with me. Tonight, I tell you each, I love you.



Teresa Gale

Single Moments:Joy

Single Moments

this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Borrowed by http://www.soulemama.com/

Opening Up

“Every wall is a door.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson



I feel a little sad this week. I failed. I failed to complete one of the most challenging and fun writing event in my life. NaNo was on and I had the best of intentions to complete my writing this year of 50K words in 30 days as I have in years past. However, something was amiss. I didn’t feel the words this year.

The week before NaNo was to begin; I developed some pain in my left leg. I have always had the worst legs, legs that bulge with varicose veins and unsightly spider veins that have me under cover most of the year. I have also had some pain in my legs due to the condition. This pain was a new pain, one that would not go away and caused my leg to swell. Then an ugly red swelling appeared and I felt panic rise in me.

After a few sleepless nights and an ache so bad that merely pulling on clothing made me wince, I called the doctor. Two doctors, two ultra sounds, three days of prodding, poking and scaring me, I was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT). I was whirling in a world the unknown, gripped with fear at the memory of my step father having a blood clot in his leg and a year later died from an embolism in his heart.

The whole three day experience is mind throbbing. Although the medical staff I came into contact with was very comforting and kind, I was suddenly thrust into the sea of unknown without a life raft. Words meant nothing to me, came out garbled, hearing loss as medical people told me what to expect and what was planned.

When you are in a state of fear and shock, you hear little. Your mind is so busy racing ahead of the things you have heard, read, experienced first-hand and you feel you are in a surreal environment.

My mind was blocked of words, of writing words as the fear and worry enveloped me. Creativity flew right out the window and as hard as I tried to focus on writing, I could not feel the words. To a writer, or want to be writer such as myself, that is a horrible loss.

Every November, I look forward to National Writing Month; it forces me to do something I never make time for, writing. I tell my family to not expect me home as I pound the computer keys, scratch words on envelopes, fill notebooks and write in frenzy. I love the feeling of this deadline and the comfort of knowing all around the world millions like me who love to write are spending sleepless nights spinning yarns of stories.

I was stuck; the words caught in my heart and refused to dislodge themselves. I wrote about my fear, my blood clot who I am truly thinking of naming, and my long dead mother who I suddenly wished were here. I imagined a scene between her and me as we buried the hatchet of long ago and talked. I didn’t get far, I couldn’t get far. She died long ago and to imagine her back in my life forced me to think of death.

I reached 25,000 words and stopped. I felt like I was standing alone in a desert, facing the wind as it blew sand in my eyes blinding me. I turned to the right, and then to the left, but could see no distinct path, had no idea which way to go. So, I stood still. I took a deep breath, relaxed my over tense shoulders and began to do what I should have done before. I prayed. I poured my heart out to my Lord and Father and prayed. I let it go.

Letting go is never easy for me, I am like a dog chewing a bone and will endless battle for the last bit of it. I hate quitting; I am not good at failure. I have failed. I felt a loss, as deep as the calendar pages flipped by, drawing closer to the end of November and I still had not written past 25K. When the 30th came, I felt the sting of tears fall with the loss of not completing my adventure.

Yet through it all, I felt the comfort from God that it was okay, that I was okay and that letting go was needed. It is alright to not always move ahead to places in our life that just don’t fit in the now. I knew that my story was not right, that the words felt stuck and lacked the passion of years past, so I waved the white flag and just let go. As the tug of war between self and writing ended, I felt at peace. I was still sad on the 30th of November, I still cried and grieved the loss, felt a twinge of defeat, but was okay, I am okay.

God taught me a lesson, and like the lump of clay I am, I let him work in me. For the first time in two weeks I am writing this, I am pouring my heart out on a blog and allowing the process to begin. I am healing both in my leg and in my heart. I am learning, bit by tiny bit to let go of what is not needed in this moment.

I had hit a wall. I looked at it in just that way at first; I had hit a wall and could not move forward. Then God took my hand and lead me down the wall and to the door. All I had to do was walk through it.

I am not sure what all He has planned for me, not sure where my writing will begin or end. I am not even sure what my health will look like in a year. I do know that I am okay. I do know all I need is right here in front of me and God walks beside me.

So slowly I grab the handle of the door and ready myself to walk through.



Teresa Gale

December 2, 2010