July 7th, 2012
Last Day
Temps today are supposed to reach 100 degrees once again. Mark is going to run wires for our friend’s electrical problems which means turning off the power. We are hoping for one last boat ride before we turn it in tomorrow.
I will have one more morning here in my little hideaway. It’s been good. Despite the heat, no power and water, I got my wish. My wish was time away from the entire world’s technology and relaxing. Today while Mark works around the electric problems, I am going to clean a bit, then scrapbook outdoors.
I spend the morning under the shade of the tree and periodically check to make sure Mark is okay. The heat is rising and the power is off while he makes the repairs. Sweat pours off my poor man and he is running into some problems. I work on some pages and then begin to pace, trying to help Mark while I can. The cabin is stuffy with no fans and the temperature registers 90 degrees and climbing. Mark had started in the cooler part of the day, but the one hour job has now turned into four.
The birds are oblivious to the heat and sing to me while chipmunks rustle in the leaves. The sun is hotter and sweat pools in uncomfortable places. The morning air was not too bad, but by the time Mark finishes around 12:00 I watch the thermometer climb over 90.
Finally, success! Mark ended up running separate wiring for the fridge and got things back on. I cleaned the floors, dusted and we both showered. The fans back on and moving hot air around us. I will remember this time when I head back up to Cleveland for our winter freeze.
We decide to drive to Cadiz and get some food instead of taking the boat out in the heat of the day. As we leave the cabin, the temps are now a little over 100 degrees. Once in the car, the AC goes on full blast and we can feel our muscles turn to mush.
I am sad. It hits me hard we are soon to leave and vacation will end. Tonight is our last night, in the morning we will pack, clean the cabin and drive home. We will return to the work world, the stress and things that wait for us. I am a little homesick, but dread the return. I could have spent the whole summer in our little hide away.
For some time now, I have been fighting some anxiety and a little bit of depression. Agitation over small things, things that should not matter, has made me snap at poor Mark and the kids. Our oldest daughter had moved in with us for a little over 18 months with our two grandkids. I loved having her, but we also all needed our own space. It was hard watching her move out. I was happy she would be on her own, but missing her very much. She and I would spend many an evening talking, playing games and sharing. I had watched her and Mark grow closer. However, I wanted to return to being a grandma and not a second mother. So her moving out was a bittersweet event.
Then, to top off my anxiety, our second oldest informed us her family consisting of son in law and two grandsons were packing up and heading west. My heart broke. I wanted to tell her not to leave, but could not. Part of being a parent is allowing our children to make decisions, to fly from the nest and to soar with wings like eagles without their mother hanging on for dear life. We met with the kids several time that last week, but could not bear to say goodbye. Finally, the night before they flew out, we had dinner together. I watched my daughter get irritated and restless and knew her heart was also feeling a tug. It is hard being torn in two by our decisions. We hugged hard not wanting to let go of each other. When we parted, I cried all the way home.
Two big changes in our lives happening weeks apart gave me no room to breathe let alone grieve. Then to make things even harder, our baby was going to graduate. While all of this will be part of my next blog, I have to let my heart ache a little as I write. Wham! Wham! And Slam!
I took most of this out on my poor hubby. He is very patient and surely a gift from God. I love him very much and getting away I tried hard to relax, reflect and pray. God surely was present this past week and our trials were many and tough. I think God with his sense of humor thought it might lighten my mood to be subjected to the heat, no power and primitive conditions. What I had not counted on was that it truly did. I enjoyed this time of healing.
The drive to Cadiz was sunny and the AC blasted the coolest air ever this last day. I felt wonderful in the cool comfort of the car. We stopped at a fast food joint, loaded up on not to good food and tried our phones out. The internet was slow, so I gave up quickly, but called our son to make sure the house was still standing.
We left the air conditioned restaurant and headed back out into the hot furnace with no where particular in mind. We drove aimlessly for awhile, snapping photos here and there, dropping mail off at the post office and ending up at the grocery for one last meal before we left. Neither of us liked the thought of cooking and were both feeling unmotivated, but we finally settled on a pack of hot sausage. I must tell you, I am not big on sausage, was only half hearted in the purchase, but unable to stomach much of anything.
As we head back to the cabin, to the heat, thoughts of boating far from our minds we settle into a silent ride. We stop here and there to snap photos of a huge downed tree from the storm and an old cemetery.
Once back to the cabin, we turn music on and focus the fans blowing hot air on us while sitting at the picnic table. We plan our morning out and survey the cabin as we moan over the chore of cleaning and packing that lie ahead. All of a sudden, the fan stops dead, radio goes silent and Mark and I stare in horror at each other. No breeze, no sound but the party next door and across the lake.
The fan shudders, starts and stops again! Mark and I wait, look at each other and moan. We try to figure out if it is everyone or just us. Could it be the electrical work he did in the morning, something gone wrong? Since it is still day light, we cannot tell if others are out as well. Music bounces off the lake loudly as boater blare the radio. A party across the way with chatter and laughter makes us wonder if we are not the only ones.
The deck thermometer rises higher still, over 100 and sweat is pouring over us in the still air. Heat index is several degrees higher than what we can see on the dial and the ice is melting fast.
On-off-on-off, the fans hum, and then stop. We start dinner and wait. Mark tells me he has had enough. We will either pack up tonight and go home, or stay in a hotel and return in the morning to clean. I do not like the idea and feel sad. This was to be our last night; our time alone and now I feel angry it may end too soon. I know that sounds silly in sight of the heat, but I wanted every second before I returned home to an empty house.
My sweet husband is encouraged by the sad look on my face to drive up the hill to investigate. I pray. I pray more. “Listen God, this has been a good bad vacation. Good for me, but hard on Mark. Can you do us a favor please, and turn the power back on?”
I run some water in the sink while we still have some in the pump, go to the bathroom. I continue praying. God is good; let me tell you, GOD IS GOOD! Suddenly, mid-prayer, lights flicker, music starts up and the glorious sound of fans. I praise God; say a word of thanks just as Mark arrives back. It seems there was some repairs being done up the road and the power went down while the men worked. I sigh deeply, our last night not ruined.
My husband makes the best dinner of our vacation. It’s funny how humble one gets with the little things in life, the simple things. God works in mysterious ways. He provided us a last night of power, a wonderful meal of meager potatoes, peppers and the hot sausage (which I might add is now my new favorite) and blessed us with safety. Life is good. I will cherish the lessons he taught me this week, one big important one is to turn to him more often. James 4:2 “You do not have because you have not asked.” The scripture is so true.
Trusting in God is something I strive more for these days. I shall rely on him to sustain me during the storms, the grief of an empty nest and the anxiety I have been having.
We are full and satisfied, not just from the dinner either, but from God who is taking care of us. We settle down in our sleeping spots, televisions on, fans positioned and comfort of being together one last night in our cabin hide away.
I would like to say, I slept good, but I had a restless night with thoughts of packing dancing in my head. Darkness envelopes us like a blanket thrown over us, finally my lids grow heavy, flutter, and close and dreams drift in like a heavy fog.
Good night – Sleep tight- Good night.
Blessings,
Teresa Gale
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